Plan for Life

Ask yourself a question. Do you know what you want to do for the rest of your life? Do you have a plan? Do you have the shadow of a plan? Is it on the tip of your tongue? Do you have a dream job, a dream career? Is it realistic? Or maybe it isn’t a job. Maybe your dream is to have a family, to be a stay-at-home mom or dad. Just make sure you have a dream, because if you don’t, then what’s the point?

I’m in college right now, at UC Santa Barbara. I love it here. I love my major. I know what I want to do for the rest of my life. Well, I have an idea of what I want to do. The specifics haven’t been worked out quite yet. I want to be a psychologist or a therapist. I know I want to sit down privately with someone and improve his or her life in any way I can. I want to give people peace of mind, self-understanding, and life management skills. I want to be on top of the research in my field and help apply it to people’s clinical mental problems and life issues. I know what I want to do. I know who I want to help. I want to help couples with marital problems, dysfunctional families, people suffering from eating disorders, college students acclimating to being on their own, grieving men, women and children who have lost family, friends, and close partners. These problems are close to my heart. I am a child of divorce. These days, that’s not such a rare thing. Almost 50% of marriages end in divorce. I have also been struggling with serious body issues. I have lost loved ones. I have friends who have lost loved ones so close to them that it’s like a part of them has died.

Psychology Tangent: William James, a 19^th century psychologist, philosopher, physicist, etc, once said that we have as many social selves as we have people with whom we interact. We act differently with our parents than we do with our friends, or at the doctor’s office, or in a lecture hall. The point is that those people with whom you are very close actually become part of who you are and if they leave your life or this life, part of you feels like it’s gone. It’s interesting…

So I know what I want to do. My friend Marie also knows what she wants to do. Marie wants to be and has always wanted to be a teacher. She used to want to be a math teacher and switched to wanting to be an English teacher at the end of high school. She is an English major and plans on getting her teaching credentials after undergrad. My other friend here, Kat, has changed her major multiple times, starting with the School of Explorers as Anthony likes to call it, or it’s more widely accepted term Undeclared. She wanted to be a translator and learn a bunch of languages. Then she wanted to be a doctor and switched to Biology. Then it was Philosophy. Now it’s Environmental Studies. I personally think that this choice suits her much better than the others. She’s very environmentally active and wants to work for the Peace Corps after college. I truly hope she sticks with this choice and is happy with it. On the other side of things, my good friend Gemma is (or was the last time we talked) entirely lost. She wanted to be a doctor and now… well I don’t know. It’s only our second year of college. For those of you who are stressing about your major, it’s not time to worry. I’d say keep up whatever you’re doing, even if it’s hard right now, and look to the future. You’re grade in Chemistry does not define your path; you define it. If you have a plan and fire in your hearts, you’ll get there.

 

I’m very excited to be on my path. I’m on track. I’ve passed many mile markers. I did well in high school and got into college. I’ve been doing well in college, quickly finishing each requirement for my degree. I even added a sociology major and French minor to the mix! Anthony and I are talking seriously about our future, about him being in the Navy and how we can work with each other around our separate dreams. Thank goodness our dreams converge on each other. I’m excited to start the next phase of my life with him. I can’t believe I only have two more years of college! The first half went by so fast… 

Outer Beauty

There are many things that I don’t like about myself. They extend from the vain (my legs, stomach, teeth, skin) to the not-so-vain (my jealousy, impatience, judgmental nature). I say time and time again that I’m going to work on these things. I never really do. I’ll start to work on one of them, then I get bored or I give up, and sometimes give in to temptation to do something completely counterproductive to my goal, like picking at acne when I want to reduce scarring. Duh! That’s the complete opposite of what you’re supposed to do. But it’s a nervous habit that I’ve been trying to quit for the longest time. I actually made it one of my New Years resolutions. Have not been successful thus far. Big surprise. I’ve also been trying to be more patient with people. Sometimes I’ll have to repeat myself several times over the course of days or even weeks when one of my friends forgets certain pieces of information about myself, where I’ve been, etc. It’s not their fault they weren’t there to hear it the first time and it’s not even their fault if they forget it once or twice. I do the same thing and they don’t snap at me for it. So my impatience can be a destructive thing sometimes, to my friends, to myself, my stress level. My impatience and my skin are just two examples of things I’m trying to improve.

This blog is about Health, Wellness, and Beauty. I’ve mostly just been talking about the “wellness” portion, emphasizing my body image issues as well as stress relief and self-esteem in general. Now I’m going to talk about beauty for a bit. Beauty, for me, can be split between inner and outer. They are both important, if not equally so. We should all strive for a realistic, attainable beauty. No. I will never be a stick thin 5’10” green-eyed, blonde bombshell with a perfect tan and perfect teeth. And that’s fine. Do you notice anything wrong with that description? There is nothing there that alludes to personality! You know how in Homer’s epics “The Odyssey” and “The Iliad” the gods have epithets like “wise Athena” and “brave Aries”. I don’t want to be “blonde bombshell” or even “red-headed bombshell”.  I want to be that “feisty red-head” or “hilarious Heather”. I want my epithets to include not only what’s on the outside, but what’s on my insides, too. (And no, I don’t mean my gorgeous intestines or my slightly irritated liver…) Not only do those blonde bombshells, like my good friend Alexandria, have outrageous outer beauty, they’re gorgeous on the inside, too. Everyone is! 

But I kind of went off on a tangent just now. The point I was trying to make is that we should all strive for an attainable outer beauty to match our inner beauty. This entry is about my personal outer beauty. I used to think I was ugly and disgusting and undesirable. But then I got my first boyfriend, Anthony. After that, my whole outlook on my body changed. Someone desires me therefore I must be desirable. It was flawless logic. And to this day, it always makes me feel better knowing that someone thinks I’m sexy and attractive. But at the same time, shouldn’t I think I’m sexy? I shouldn’t depend on someone else to bolster my self-esteem; I should agree with it, too. So I’ve been on this journey, this challenge to turn myself into someone I think is sexy. It became detrimental to my mental health and well-being, because my idea of what I thought was sexy wasn’t attainable for me. So I was chasing this elusive concept of what the perfect Heather would look like. I did lose weight and my skin got a bit better and I tried multiple hair colors. I changed what I wore and how I did my make up. I read more fashion magazines and Internet advice. It became an obsession of mine. And as my outer beauty improve a little bit, I felt my inner beauty diminishing. How interesting could a person be if all they think about are their looks?! Honestly! And Anthony would remind me time and time again that he’s not with those beautiful bimbos for a reason! All they think about is fashion and makeup and how many calories they’ve had today. So not attractive. It’s took me a long time to realize what I was becoming. It really hit me at the very point where I was on the verge of starving myself or even trying to “expel” the food I ate in some way or another when I saw how far I’d let myself spiral into this obsession. Of course, Anthony hasn’t given up on me. He sees that I’m struggling and is always there to help me or pick me back up if I relapse, which I haven’t done so far. I’m very thankful to him and to all of the people in my support network here at school and at home or even in Oklahoma (Love you Elisabeth!).

 

So it’s been a journey. Now, I’m here, trying to improve my inner beauty and striving to be the most beautiful on the outside that it’s possible for me to be. Guess what? I discovered the secret to success! It’s so obvious yet it’s easier said than done. Want to know what it is? CONSISTENCY!!! Yeah! I know I’m an idiot for it to take this long for me to realize this, but it has finally sunk in. Especially with skin problems, it’s so necessary to be consistent. Earlier in the week I started being more consistent with my skin care routine. I’ve been using Murad’s Exfoliating Acne Treatment gel 1-2 times a day depending on the dryness of my skin and coupling that with SPF 15 moisturizer and washing my face in the morning and night. I’ve been doing this all week, and it’s already started to work! What do you know? Also, I’ve actually been wearing my retainer at night all week, and using mouthwash and flossing daily! Did you read that correctly? FLOSSING! Think back to the last time you flossed your teeth. And if you’re like the rest of us, that was probably around your last dentist appointment. You should try it. It only takes an extra minute and you’d be surprised at how much cleaner your teeth feel afterwards, and how much nasty plaque accumulates after just one day! Mouthwash also feels surprisingly good. I’ve started looking forward to it. Yes, I realize that I’m an odd duck for that. The point is that I’ve actually been trying. If I want to look a certain way (and know that it’s attainable), I have to work at it. No one else is going to do it for me.

As for my current body image, I had a really awesome experience today, a couple of them actually. First, I wore a fitted t-shirt that I haven’t worn since my junior year of high school. It’s been almost four years since then. I only kept it for sentimental value. (It’s from when I went to New York City and saw Wicked on Broadway.) When I first bought it, it fit kind of tightly around my stomach and arms. Then it shrunk in the wash and barely fit me after that. I put it on today and it is significantly loose around the waste and fits my arms perfectly, not to mention my chest area. It was exhilarating to have tangible evidence that I’d lose weight and toned up. I was having an ok day before and it immediately became a great one. Also, I just got back from a Hip Hop Cardio class. I went to it for an assignment for my aerobics class. We were supposed to try a new type a cardio and see how our body responded. I think the point was that it was supposed to make us more tired to do something we’d never done before, but it was surprisingly easy for me. I barely broke a sweat. So that was also super exciting to know that not only am I fitter than I was in high school, or even just last year, but my body is versatile and easily adapts to new workouts.

In conclusion: Strive for attainable beauty inside and out. Consistency will get you results. FLOSS! And don’t forget to celebrate the little things!

Apples to Apples... to Pears to Hourglasses

I've always had this weird fascination with the official body shapes and sizes: Apples, Pears, Hourglasses, Tube... You see these categories in magazines for fashion advice all the time, along with petite, tall, and curvy...

What is "curvy" anyway? I get so frustrated about it. I always identified as curvy because I have curves. Makes sense, right? But no. Apparently, in magazine-speak, curvy means plus-size. It's a euphemism; it's politically correct. Like how they say "petite" rather than short while simply stating "tall" when they mean "tall"! It's it odd how these names for body sizes have negative connotations? When did being short become a bad thing? Why do magazines insist on using the pretty French word rather than being straight with us vertically challenged people? (Yes, I do identify as short, and I'm proud of it!) And also, what if I'm short AND curvy, but not plus size? Can I still wear that cute dress they recommend for short people or will it not flatter my waist properly? Ugh! It's so silly and trivial, yet I still read these magazines. I still follow the advice they so kindly recycle every few issues. 

Like I said... weird fascination. I'm constantly trying to fit myself into a category so that I can better understand what clothes will best fit my figure and what to avoid. I know that I'm short, um pardon... petite, because I'm 5'2" and when shopping for jeans, the regular size usually will extend so far over my feet that I feel like I'm a child playing dress up with mom's clothes. I know I need to wear skirts that end just above my knee and I have to buy jeans that specifically say "short". - Huh. I just realized that it's alright for my Levi's brand jeans to print short on the size tag, but not acceptable for magazines... interesting. - I also had the understanding that I was an hourglass because my waist is significantly smaller than my bust and hips. But no! According to my actual measurements, I'm off by an inch. I'm actually a "tube," which by the way is a boring name for a body type. It means that I'm the same size everywhere. Yay. 





Whatever. These things are really not important in the grand scheme of things. I'm just obsessed with categorizing and organizing every aspect of my life, including my body. I won't even start my rant about my confusion about face shapes and what that means about the hairstyles and make up techniques I'm supposed to know and use. The point is, it's time for me to throw these titles out the window. What is my body type? The Heather body type. What does that mean about what I should and should not wear? Absolutely nothing. I'll wear what I want and what I think looks good, to hell with what my magazine has to say. 

New Beginnings

I love new beginnings. Everything is so fresh and clean. There are opportunities to act differently and look at life with new eyes. I am on the train going back to UCSB for the last quarter of the school year. Today is the last day of my spring break. I feel relaxed and ready to finish up my second year of college. Over break, I spent most of my time with Anthony. I saw my family. I got a wonderful massage from my favorite massage therapist at Massage Envy, as well as a facial. I feel as if I’m glowing, which is odd, because usually when I’m travelling, I feel grimy and gross. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to exercise more than once this week. My body feels flabby and neglected… I realize that I can’t get fat in one week of not working out and overeating, but it just feels that way. I’m excited to get back into my work out routine and regular healthy food habits.

I’m really going to miss Anthony, though. He really brought me back from that dark hole of despair I dug last week. He brought the light back into my eyes, the spark back into my soul. I’m rejuvenated. I’m going to finish off this year strong.

New beginnings are scary, though… Anthony and I are in a transition period, which has to do with me being in a transition period. To quote Britney Spears, “I’m not a girl, not yet a woman.” It’s true! I’m not a kid anymore. I’m away from home, taking care of myself. I’m probably healthier on my own than I ever was when I lived with my parents. I’m at college, learning things I’ll use in the future and some things that I’ll never use. The point is that I’m learning; I’m training my mind, disciplining myself. I’m working, trying, trying, trying to save money when I can. Trying, trying, trying to pay off my debts. The fact that I have debts is another sign that I’m not a kid anymore. What child do you know of who has credit card debt? This is all well and good, evidence that I’m an “adult”, however, I’m not totally on my own. I’m not paying for college. I’m definitely not making enough money to survive. My mom bails me out. For the most part, she’ll be there in a pinch. I’m still immature. I party. I try new things. I’m not a grown up. I may be a legal adult, but I’m not entirely ready for the real world. But Anthony is ready. He’s ready to move on to that next level of our relationship. If I follow him that means I have to sacrifice this time when I can be an “adult,” a grown up child.

Last week, I experience this strange feeling. I couldn’t figure it out. Was I depressed? Was I angry? Bored? Finally, it dawned on me. I was ready! I had this urge to tear down all of my childish posters and get rid of all of my juvenile possessions and move the heck on! I needed to shed that skin. But at the same time, there is something holding me back. I can’t do it all at once. I’m not ready to completely grow up. I’m still in college; there are still experiences that I want/need to have. But I’m ready to start the process. I already have a plan for my future. I know what I want to do, what my goals are. I’m like a hot air balloon, rising into the sky, but it will be slow going, dropping one sand bag at a time.

For now, I’m just excited for my new beginning. I’m ready for spring quarter. I’m ready to plan for fall quarter 2011. I’m ready to maintain a healthy routine and keep in touch with my family and friends. I get to come back to a clean room, unpack, stock up on groceries, get to bed early, and go to classes tomorrow. One day at a time, one sand bag at a time. By the end, Anthony will be there waiting for me, behind me will be those for whom I’m setting an example.

Joe Martin, a motivational speaker who does presentations for the National Society of Leadership and Success, say that we need to determine our purpose. We need to look at what we do during the day, how we spend out time. Then we should ask ourselves if our habits, our daily activities, line up with our purpose. If not, we need to change our activities so that they will better enable us to achieve our purpose. For example, I want to be a healthy, socially, mentally and physically. If I’m spending all of my time alone in my room, eating junk food and mentally criticizing myself, I am not doing what I should to meet my goals. Instead, I should be exercising, eating healthy, spending time with my friends, and shutting off my critical inner voice.

So I challenge you, Joe Martin challenges you, discover your purpose through your goals. Examine your habits and change them if necessary to help you reach those goals. You should be spending at least an hour a day working toward your purpose.

Sorry if this seems preachy or cheesy… I’m mostly reminding myself to do these things. New beginnings mean reevaluating my goals and actions to make sure I’m going to start off on the right foot. I’ll end with a ridiculously cheesy phrase I still remember from middle school: If you want to leave footprints in the sands of time, don’t sit on your butt, because who wants to leave butt prints in the sands of time?

All You Need is Love

"Love is a many splendored thing! Love... lifts us up where we belong, all you need is love!" - Ewan McGregor's Christian from Moulin Rouge


Love songs. Romantic comedies. Musical theatre! Poetry. Literature. Visual art... painting, sculpture...


Artists create from experience, from everybody's experience, their own experience... Art is a way of knowing the world, just like science or philosophy or religion. Art shows us things that we may not have noticed before. It predicts our mistakes, time and time again. It also shows us the plethora of things for which to live. I'm going to discuss one of them: love. 

I used to not believe in love. Really. My family is like one of those tavern walls of some western movie, riddled with bullet holes of divorce. I never understood why everyone in my family split up and tore their own families apart. If love truly existed, wouldn't it keep them together? I had obviously never experienced true love. By high school, I had convinced myself that I was undesirable, unloveable, a cynic, bitter and angry and that no one would ever want to be my boyfriend. I was not girlfriend material. I had this mental rule-book: don't have crushes on guys because they will go nowhere, you'll only get hurt if you flirt with him, it may seem like he's flirting with you or hitting on your, but he's only being nice, don't think anything of it, etc. Yup. That was me. And I'm not going to blame my mother or anyone, but my lack of love for both myself and anyone else may be correlated with the fact that no one in my family was super lovey-dovey. And that's just fine. That's how they are. I'm not saying that I'm going to let that determine how I raise my family, but they made a choice. I turned out fine, for the most part. I'm functional and rational and goal-oriented. But that's not the point. 


The point is that I had to throw that stupid rule-book out the window once someone so kindly pointed out to me that Anthony (a boy I had a huge crush on, who is now my boyfriend going on 3 years) really did like me. He wasn't "just being nice" like I kept reiterating to myself. So we began a relationship... and I fell in love. It was crazy! How could I be experiencing something that I claimed did not exist? Well... since the evidence did not fit the theory, I had to change it. And that's where I am today. 


I love love! It fills me up inside. It warms me. I love that the love is mutual. I love that love supports me and takes care of me and will lead to a beautiful family that I will love love love love love! I can't stop saying it! I'm not one of those people who condemns saying things like "I love that band!" or "I love you!" to friends or even celebrities or whatever. I think that if people really understand the meaning of love, they can differentiate between me saying "I love you" to Anthony and me saying "I love chocolate/purple/shopping" There is an obvious difference! And if you can't see that, you need to do some soul searching or something. Figure out why you think that. 


Also! Love can absolutely be used for your friends. Anthony and my best friend Elisabeth always "argue" about who I love the most. Honestly, it took me a long time to really figure it out, because you want to be loyal to your partner because he or she is your other half, the other side of you, the completion of you, but your best friend, especially two women... that's a different kind of love. It's the love between two soul sisters, the link between best friends, female best friends who know everything about each other and still accept each other for all of their faults, that's a powerful bond. So I always used to say, "I love you both equally, but differently!" That's still half true. I realized that if I ever lost Elisabeth, I would be heartbroken and very very sad, but I really believe that I'd end up being ok. I'd cope with it better. However, if I lost Anthony, that means that I lost him as well as my future family and the children we plan on creating together and that whole dream! Losing Elisabeth would be heartbreaking, but losing Anthony would be soul-crushing... 


Side Note: I don't believe in the soul, the Christian soul that lives after death or any kind of eternal soul that is separate from the body. But I still use the word because it does encompass, for me, the conscious sum of hopes and dreams, that motivating fire in our hearts, the spark in our eyes. A heart can mend, but once a soul is crushed, that fire is out and can't come back. 


I'm discussing love today because I really believe that everybody needs it to have a healthy life. Everyone needs fulfilling relationships. Even if you don't believe in love (which is fine...) someone loves you whether you like it or not. The title of this entry is "All You Need is Love", but I'm just trying to be poetic. I don't really believe that people can survive off love alone, but it certainly helps. 






Side Note: Also! Sex is NOT love. Sex is a biological action that humans and animals alike need to do. It releases endorphins and actually (I don't remember why...) makes us live longer! But sex is not love. It's an expression of love for those in a relationship, but you don't need love to have sex. It makes it more meaningful, but not everyone needs meaningful sex. Sex is also a way for people to make children, when they want them! I just wanted to mention this because some people may get this confused and think that I'm talking about sex in this post. But I'm talking about love, a feeling you get when you really care for someone, and you accept them for their imperfections and respect them enough that you would never hurt them intentionally. That's a very simple definition; I'm sure there is more to it that that for most people. 


So my advice here is to think about all of the people you love, and all of the people who love you (even if you don't love them back). Think about why they love you and why you love them. Those reasons why they love you, write them down, look at them often, and believe them! Love yourself for those reasons! The reasons why you love them, also write those down, look at them often, and encompass them! Try to incorporate those characteristics you love about someone into your own character. For example, I love Anthony's patience and I know that I am a very impatient person. I'm always trying to become more patient, because it is an admirable quality. 


Yes I realize that this is a very long post... I'm mostly talking to myself. I really believe that if I stop focusing on my unhealthy relationship with my Self, and rather on my healthy relationships with others, I can learn how to see myself through their eyes. It's something new I'm trying. I'll let you know how it works out!

Self Hate

I am in an abusive relationship.

It's one of those relationships that you can't escape. It's permanent. You're stuck with this person. One cannot exist without the other. We support each other, but we tear each other down. We get off on each other's pain and misery. We push each other and challenge each other. We eat together, sleep together, live together, learn together... I remember the days when my relationship was healthy, back when I wasn't aware of it. It was just me, and "me" was I and I was happy and it was a continuum of being myself. But now myself has split into two, the "me" and the "Self". And we are in a love-hate relationship.

Why am I so cruel to myself? What did my Self do to me to make me hate her so much? I don't lie to myself. I don't cheat myself. I don't abuse myself. But my Self abuses me. It's like I'm two different people, maybe even three people, but the third Heather, the positive and happy Heather, has been on a hiatus for the past few weeks. It's just me, the neutral, distracted Heather and my Self, the evil, vindictive, me-hating Heather. She and I have been battling it out for control, and she's been winning. I'm turning into this self-abusing, self-hating person. Everybody is worried about me, but not worried enough. I'm not sure if they know the gravity of the situation. Where is happy Heather? She is my support. She keeps me going. How can I fight off my inner critic when I'm just in neutral?

Lately, I've been really leaning on my boyfriend, Anthony, for support. I keep falling apart and he keeps having to put me back together again... and again... and again! It's not fair to him. He used to have this happy, vivacious girlfriend. I've never truly loved myself, but I never hated myself as much as I do now. How can someone love a person who doesn't love herself? He's been having to love me for the both of us. And I feel like I haven't been able to muster up any love to shower on him. That doesn't mean I don't love him. I love him with all of my heart, every fiber of my being, every inch of me is for him. But I'm in neutral. Emotions that I can handle at this point don't really extend beyond stress and sadness. When my negative Self takes over, however, I become angry and depressed and filled with hatred and impulsivity. I want to do something drastic. I want to make a statement. I'm hovering over this line that I have yet to cross. If I cross it, I will pass into a realm that I don't really want to explore. When I get close to crossing that line, the "me", the meek little neutral and rational "me" speaks up and asks for help, usually from Anthony. So far... I've been asking for help when it gets bad. I really hope the time doesn't come when I don't want to ask for help and I just want to cross the line.

In my last post, I mentioned that it was finals week and I gave myself some tips for stress relief. Yeah... I didn't really take my own advice. I've been exercising for sure. I listened to some upbeat music before my most recent final and I think that helped. But that's about it. I've really been letting the stress get to me this week. It may be what triggered this meltdown of mine. I guess we'll see what happens when I get a week off for Spring Break. And I'll be with Anthony for that week, so maybe physical contact and direct love and support will help me.

I'm just really sick of feeling this way. I do NOT want to cross that line. I'll become something that I never thought I would be. I'd set myself up for failure. I'd start this spiral of actions and reactions that would be this vicious cycle until either I waste away or Anthony gives up on me... or my friends give up on me...

I just don't know what to do. How do I put myself back together again? How can I make that vibrant, happy, beautiful Heather return?

I obviously have no advice for this post. If I did, I'd say it to myself... huh... and my Self!

And of course I feel even worse knowing that so many have died recently in the earthquake and tsunami in Japan... and here I am whining about how I hate myself and woe is me and please help and what do I do... blah blah blah... And feeling guilty about feeling sad doesn't really make me feel any better, does it...

Stress Relief

Ok so right off the bat, totally honest, this is me: 


I am one of the most tense and anxious people you will ever meet. I'm also extremely moody and emotional. The smallest things can change my day from awesome to horrible and back to amazing and then to neutral... I'm like a manual transmission (not a car person...) or a roller coaster or... other things that change dramatically at the drop of a pin. I'm also dramatic and flamboyant and this is part of my humor, but sometimes, I know I need to chill out, calm down, relax, take a breather, smell the roses, whatever other sayings or mantras there are about stress relief and what not. 


This week and next week are going to be examples of how stressed out and insane I can me. Dead Week (sounds very foreboding, does it not?) and Finals Week. These are the last two weeks of a quarter in college, where all the students (who care about their grades) get super wound up and freaked out about studying and reading and kind of let their mental health go... I admit, I am one of these students. But it's one of those aspects of health that I'm working on, with you all watching... and hopefully not laughing. Did you know that anxious people are more likely to develop heart problems? We apparently don't live as long (in general) as people who can handle stress well. This doesn't bode so well for me, unfortunately. So I've come up with a list of things I can do to relax during high periods of stress in my life. And maybe some of these ideas will help for you, as well: 


1) Exercise!

Try to fit it at least 10 minutes of cardiovascular exercise per day!

2) Yoga/Meditation

Great for balance, flexibility, and mindfulness

3) Listening to upbeat, positive music

Firework by Katy Perry is one of my favorite feel good songs

4) Sing and Dance

Singing and dancing (even if it's not your forte) releases built up tension and anxiety

5) Eat well

Unhealthy foods give you that sugar rush and then you crash,  but whole grains and veggies give you energy that lasts throughout the day and you won't feel badly about yourself later!

6) Get a restful 7-8 hour sleep

Sleep is that break from the day when you regenerate and really process everything that happened.  Studying then getting a full night's sleep is much better for learning than an all night cram session. 

7) Get some sunshine!

Sunshine decreases your chances of developing depression!

8) Talk to friends/family/partners

Friends and family will support you and love you no matter what and talking to people you love will improve your mood and decrease stress in no time! As long as you keep the conversation positive...

9) Remind yourself that YOU MATTER!!!

Program put on by my college UC Santa Barbara during Dead Week to remind the students to take care of themselves during this stressful time. It's actually happening today and I'm so excited to be a part of it.

So I hope this helped you. It certainly helps me! I'm sure I'll come up with more tips for stress relief and wellness and update you on what I learn. I'll end with one last tip: SMILE! Just the act of smiling will make you happier and most of the time, if you smile at a stranger they'll smile right back. Spread the love!